Wearing a dress without tights? No thank you. Wearing shorts? Nooooooo. Wearing a bikini? Basically my worst nightmare.
I’ve struggled with body confidence for years. It’s hard, isn’t it? I’ve wanted to write about this for a while, but I’ve never felt like I could articulate my thoughts well. Honestly, I still don’t think I can, but we’re going to give it a shot anyway.
I can probably count on one hand the number of times I’ve genuinely felt good about my body. It’s not often. I look in the mirror, and I don’t like what I see. I promise this post isn’t supposed to be a pity party – just a little bit of honesty.
As much as I’d like to hide in a bin bag and pretend I don’t feel gross, I can’t. Eventually it just comes to the point where you need to accept the size you are and try to embrace it. I don’t want to waste anymore time hating myself or feeling ashamed of my body. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m now a magical human with body confidence and body positivity, but I’m taking little steps.
Ignoring diet culture. The media and diet industry can be so detrimental. They promote the idea that if you lose a few pounds, you’re guaranteed to be happier. It’s not true. Skinny doesn’t equal happy. I’m sick of before and after shots. I’m sick of photoshopped images. I want to see real life, so I can promise you I won’t be picking up a magazine anytime soon.
I’m treating my body better. I’ve started going to the gym again – not to get thinner, to feel healthier. I may not like my body, but it’s got me through 20 years of life and I think that’s pretty amazing. I think it’s only fair that I start to treat it as well as I possibly can. Of course I’ll still have the occasional gin or ice cream (definitely had both last night), but overall I am trying to make healthier choices when it comes to food and exercise.
Stretch marks are no big deal. I cried when I first found stretch marks on my body, and I promise I’ve cried about them since then too. However, I can now say I’ve got a fair few stretch marks on me and I’m learning to love them. They’re natural, they’re kinda cute and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with them.
I’m learning to dress for my size and shape. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve taken a pair of jeans that I know are too small into the changing room and felt disappointed when they don’t fit. Clearly I’m not a size 8, so why am I wasting my time trying trying to squeeze into them? I’m finally learning, and guess what? Clothes that are actually the right size look better on you… Who would’ve thought?
Our bodies are going to change, and that’s okay. We can’t expect our bodies to stay the exact same size for our whole life, and the sooner we accept that, the better.
Body confidence isn’t something I’m going to develop overnight, but I’m working on it and that’s good enough for me.
This post was a little bit of a different (and scary) one for me, so I hope you enjoyed it.
I’d love to hear from you in the comments!
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This is a great post Bekah and it’s so wonderful to see people be so real about their confidence. I also found that I felt much better after going to the gym more and eating better – who would believe it?! The added confidence is just a bonus. Supporting you all the way xx
Thank you so much Soph, I’m glad you enjoyed it! Yeah I can’t believe the gym is already making me feel better. I just hope I can keep it up xx
It will never not frustrate me that we are taught to hate our amazing bodies. It’s not your fault, you didn’t choose to feel this way, you’ve just had a lifetime of magazines and TV shows telling you to. So glad to see you fighting back at that!
You’re right. Mainstream media can be so damaging and it’s incredibly frustrating! Thanks for leaving a comment Lyd 🙂
Everyone should be confident with their bodies. It’s hard for everyone and until you embrace your body it will always be that way. I still struggle with mine and while I am “tall and skinny” to my friends, I still have trouble zones which I am not comfortable displaying outside my own house. I work with graphic artists, so I am well aware of how flawed mainstream society images are and yet we let them bother us. We shouldn’t, but it happens nonetheless. I think body confidence is something everyone, man and women, should continue to work on. Our bodies will always be our own and we should never let society dictate how we view ourselves.
I think the culture that has been created is one, that even if you are as thin as the ‘ideal’ would say you have to be, you would still feel as if something is wrong with your body. I have always been rather skinny but I never felt like I liked my body regardless. I feel like we’re all trained to hate ourselves somehow, but we should all instead try and love ourselves no matter what we look like because it really doesn’t matter as long as you feel good in yourself.
I think it’s really brave you’re writing about this and have started taking the steps so that you can start loving yourself. I know it can’t be easy and you should be proud of who you are!
Body confidence is a different journey for everyone – I did notice when I made some little changes to food choices and exercise last year it made a big difference to my confidence. Still got a long way to go to feel completely happy in dresses and shorts though.
Francesca x | glutenfreehorizons.com
Love this post! Have you heard of the movement started by Jameela Jamil called ‘I Weigh’? You should definitely check it out, it definitely helped me with my confidence! https://www.instagram.com/i_weigh/?hl=en
I legit loved this post, and appreciate you being vulnerable with your blog! thx for writing…body confidence is challenging for me, and something we who struggle will have someone to look toward when we go through our own stuff…thx again!